I'm A Bad Blogger
The first place to start is explaining my absence over the last few months. As I previously mentioned, it's not just been down to one thing but a culmination of many, the main one being college. Over the summer I obviously wasn't at college, meaning that I had lots more time on my hands. I focused all of my time and energy on blogging every day of August, (which turned out to be a complete fail), so much so that I didn't schedule any posts for when I actually got back to college for my A2 year. Since going back to full-time education, the workload hasn't stopped and the time I thought I would have for blogging, had to be used for work. There's been homework, tests to revise for, coursework deadlines and then the prospect of what I'm going to do when I leave the bubble of compulsory education.
Although I've somehow managed to just keep on top of the workload, there have been weeks where my to-do list seems to only grow and not get any smaller. Of course, this means that Five Foot Seven had to take a back seat for a little while, despite wanting nothing more than to open up my Blogger dashboard and write.
Whilst we're having a life update post and since it is relevant, another thing that has been taking up a lot of my time is the thought of what am I going to do next year and with my life. I leave compulsory education next year, and for years I've told myself and others that I don't want to go to university. That was until very recently. Having been so adverse to the idea going to university, I had to turn my thoughts to what I wanted to do instead. That's easier said than done when you still don't know for sure what you want to do for the rest of your life. I looked into various apprenticeships and jobs but decided to look at a university anyway, to make sure that I wasn't just being stubborn. To cut quite a long story short, I've fallen in love with the course in Music Journalism at BIMM Brighton and have now decided that that's what I want to do. This does mean that much of my time recently has been spent locked away in the college library filling out my UCAS application and writing my personal statement. One tip of advice, look at your options early and don't decide at the last minute that maybe you do actually want to go to university... It's pretty stressful.
My third reason is that I've found myself stuck in a blogging rut with very little inspiration to write. I currently have at least six posts just saved as drafts because I've either got half way through and not finished it or started it and not liked the concept. Looking at the pieces I was producing back in August, I'm not happy with everything I was writing. Some of them I'm really proud of, but others, I was only writing because I'd put pressure on myself to upload to a schedule. Over the last week or so, I've read and looked back at every post I've ever written here on Five Foot Seven. I've reverted a load to drafts for future editing and republication, edited a handful but kept them live and also deleted at least fifteen posts which just weren't showing what I was about. It's really difficult to see pieces you spent so long on be deleted at the click of a button, but it had to be done because I wasn't one-hundred percent happy with them.
If you're a blogger you might understand what I mean, but when you're not happy with the content you're producing, you're just not motivated to write it. That's another reason I didn't write. When I looked at Five Foot Seven, I didn't always think, "Yeah, I'm really happy with everything I've written". A lot of the time, I'd be thinking along the lines of, "Meh, that post is ok, but I wish I'd written it this way or photographed it that way". Thinking that about something you're voluntarily doing, makes you question whether it's really worth it at all. Is writing this post really worth all this time and energy? Is it going to be well received or is it going to flop like that other post? I want to write because I want to, not because I feel pressured to stick to an upload schedule where I post mediocre content that I'm not one-hundred percent proud of.
I'm hoping that this is the start of a new chapter for Five Foot Seven. Blogging is something I love doing and if I had the chance, I would do it 24/7. Sadly, that isn't an option because, well, life. But now that this update is out there and I have a handful of posts written and scheduled, hopefully, normality can return to Five Foot Seven.